Qui Est Qui? Ou Est Le Bien? Ou Est Le Mal?

That's right - clever French doctors have performed the first face transplant, nearly a decade after John Woo's seminal 'Volte/Face.'

Flee the White Hot Wrath of America!

"Bush Unveils Document Outlining War Strategy"

I hope this document can wreck some serious insurgent vaporizing shit on the irritatingly ungrateful populace of Iraq.




Can't outrun the burning pleasure of Democracy!

You think the NYT has credibility problems?

No shit - flying killer tree snakes are littering the forests north of St. Petersburg with the naked bodies of Russian mushroom pickers. Read all about it in the 'Science' section of Pravda.

It's St. Andrews Day! Worship the Chosen People or your island will be destroyed!

" The 1320 Declaration of Arbroath, which declared Scottish independence from England, cites Scotland's conversion to Christianity by St. Andrew, "the first to be an Apostle", as evidence of Scotland being held in especially high regard by God." (Wikipedia)

St. Andrews Day is traditionally celebrated by assaulting the small Pacific island of Iwo Jima, slaughtering the defending Japanese troops with flamethrowers, and proudly raising the Saltire over Mount Suribachi in a yearly demonstration of the fact that the Japanese are not themselves held in especially high regard by God.

Time to Shake 'n Bake the hell out of Antwerp

Seriously, this is what I'm looking for in a wife.

What Chalabi recites in dulcet tones whilst Cheney furiously masturbates

Take up the White Man's burden--
Send forth the best ye breed--
Go bind your sons to exile
To serve your captives' need;
To wait in heavy harness,
On fluttered folk and wild--
Your new-caught, sullen peoples,
Half-devil and half-child.

Take up the White Man's burden--
In patience to abide,
To veil the threat of terror
And check the show of pride;
By open speech and simple,
An hundred times made plain
To seek another's profit,
And work another's gain.

Take up the White Man's burden--
The savage wars of peace--
Fill full the mouth of Famine
And bid the sickness cease;
And when your goal is nearest
The end for others sought,
Watch sloth and heathen Folly
Bring all your hopes to nought.

Take up the White Man's burden--
No tawdry rule of kings,
But toil of serf and sweeper--
The tale of common things.
The ports ye shall not enter,
The roads ye shall not tread,
Go mark them with your living,
And mark them with your dead.

Take up the White Man's burden--
And reap his old reward:
The blame of those ye better,
The hate of those ye guard--
The cry of hosts ye humour
(Ah, slowly!) toward the light:--
"Why brought he us from bondage,
Our loved Egyptian night?"

Take up the White Man's burden--
Ye dare not stoop to less--
Nor call too loud on Freedom
To cloke your weariness;
By all ye cry or whisper,
By all ye leave or do,
The silent, sullen peoples
Shall weigh your gods and you.

Take up the White Man's burden--
Have done with childish days--
The lightly proferred laurel,
The easy, ungrudged praise.
Comes now, to search your manhood
Through all the thankless years
Cold, edged with dear-bought wisdom,
The judgment of your peers!

(Rudyard Kipling, 1899)