Fuck you, gene slc24a5

The Washington Post reports that crackerdome is actually a genetic flaw, which is apparently why I bear more resemblance to the underbelly of a rotting grouper than a young Tookie Williams.
The leading explanation, according to the article, is that some dusky ancesstress of mine found the freakish, mutated translucence of my male progenitor's skin to be arousing. Billions of dollars in academic research into genomics somehow results in the postulate that women get aroused by the sight of sickly pallid flesh, which has totally been my own experience, and totally worth, by the way, the susceptibility to cancer resulting from exposure to any light source greater than a 60w lightbulb.